Thursday, August 13, 2015

Getting The Fire Back After You Have Kids

We often find ourselves faced with a problem after kids are brought into the mix. As much as we love and adore them, their innocent little selves can be a real buzzkill in the romance department. You may not have the free time you used to with your partner or even the opportunities that you once had.

Jennifer White, a blogger over at Huff Post has a great take on how to get things fired up again during this often tumultuous period



Read the full article here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-s-white/5-tips-for-parents-looking-to-rekindle-their-sex-lives_b_7970252.html

5 Tips for Parents Looking to Rekindle Their Sex Lives

By: Jennifer S. White
1. Talk.
I will not play the gender card here either.
Some people are more verbal and others are not, and I don't believe this is a man or woman thing. Instead, it's a hodgepodge of how willing we are to share, if words are the way that we show love, and likely, too, of how our families expressed themselves, etc, etc. Yet, don't misinterpret that we do need to talk through things. No -- we need to talk through everything. Get used to it.
If words are not your best form of expression, then consider writing down what you need to say. More, if you -- like I -- am an extremely... passionate (read: hot-tempered) individual, then consider occasionally sending an email that gets ideas across better than can sometimes be conveyed through conversation.
2. Hugs.
Hugging is hugely underrated. It helps forge a feeling of closeness and it also cuts through life's tension that gets in the way of how we feel about our partners, if we could stop time and co-exist outside of work and child-rearing.
Raising children isn't the only reason a relationship might go through a sexless or less-sex period. Illness and long distance are other possibilities -- and my relationship has gone through all of these reasons.
I'll never forget seeing my husband, then boyfriend, as I got off the plane to visit him across the country in New Mexico. I can still feel the sensations of his strong arms as they completely enveloped me, standing in front of him. That hug meant and said more to me about his love than any words could have. His hugs still make me feel wonderful. In other words, hug it out.
3. Listen.
Speaking of hugs being underrated, talking is also over-rated -- listening is the new best thing.
Honestly, listening involves stopping our own thought processes and authentically being present with our partner, and truly hearing and taking in their experiences of both life and our relationship through life together. This is worthy of an article by itself. Regardless, let's all put on our listening ears.
4. Stay present.
I've been with my husband since we were 14 years old. In other words, it's easy to re-hash the past. Don't. Stay here. Stay current. Trust me, I'm horrible at this.
I have an elephant's memory and a sensitive heart, and it's taken me years and years--echo after me : years and years -- to learn, and repetitively understand, that while yesterday's problem might still be today's, it's crucial to discuss what is happeningnow.
This is easier said than done, both externally and internally, so my suggestion (aside from professional help for recurring problems) is to:
5. Walk the fuck away.
Walk away.
When we cannot move mentally past a conflict or regroup ourselves for our best dialogue, then we need to walk away, cool down, internally reconfigure our feelings and then express them at another moment. In short: Walk. The. Fuck. Away.
Follow Jennifer S. White on Twitter: www.twitter.com/yenniwhite

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Sexual Activity Linked To Higher Quality Of Life For Seniors


(Reuters Health/ By Madeline Kennedy)

Older adults who value sexual activity and engage in it have better social lives and psychological well-being, according to a small study in Scotland

Older adults said "they miss and want to engage in sexual behaviours, whether that be a kiss to intercourse," said study co-author Taylor-Jane Flynn in an email. "For many, these behaviours remained an important element in their life."

Flynn, a psychology PhD candidate at Glasgow Caledonian University, said the study was inspired by her work as a health care assistant for elderly people.

Although quality of life is a key consideration for older adults, sexuality is rarely studied, write Flynn and Alan Gow, an associate professor of psychology at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh, in the journal Age and Ageing.

The researchers recruited 133 Scottish adults aged 65 and over by distributing questionnaires at local clubs, small businesses and older people’s groups.

About half the participants lived with a spouse or partner.

The questionnaire asked how often in the last six months participants had engaged in six sexual behaviours: touching/holding hands, embracing/hugging, kissing, mutual stroking, masturbation and intercourse.

Participants also rated how important those behaviours are to them, on a five-point scale ranging from “not at all important” to “very important.”

Additionally, the questionnaires assessed participants’ quality of life based on physical health, psychological health, social relationships and environment.

Between 75 and 89 percent said they'd engaged in kissing, hugging and holding hands or touching. Men and women scored about the same for frequency and importance of sexual behaviours overall, and for quality of life.

Although people with frequent sexual activity also placed higher importance on it, the analysis found the two measures were associated with different aspects of quality of life.

Participants reporting more frequent sexual behaviour rated their social relationships as higher quality, while people who found sexual activity to be important had higher scores for psychological quality of life.

Overall, however, seniors’ health status had the strongest impact on all aspects of quality of life.

John DeLamater, a sociology professor at the University of Wisconsin – Madison, said the fact that participants were recruited in community settings - which may attract more healthy and active older people - might affect the results.

“If they are generally healthier (which the results show to be associated with quality of life), they are probably more sexually active,” DeLamater said in an email.

For people who have valued sexuality throughout their lives, he noted, “continuing activity provides protection against a sense of ageing and loss, and of continuity if the person is in a long-term relationship.” That may explain the links between sex and well-being found in the study, he said.

While the current study only looked at associations and cannot determine whether sexuality raises quality of life, Gow noted, he hopes that future research will focus more on this subject.

“What we hope is that our current findings encourage other researchers interested in the determinants of health and well-being in older adults to also consider sexual behaviours,” Gow said in an email.

The sexuality of older people should be considered and encouraged, DeLamater said. “We should encourage couples to spend time alone, provide arrangements in care facilities that enable sexual intimacy, provide sexual health information in medical settings.”

SOURCE: bit.ly/1CXCiLh Age and Ageing, online July 14, 2015.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Aren’t We Naughty Nominated for 2015 Retail Chain of The Year


TORONTO, Canada, July 20, 2015 – This past weekend at the ANME Founders Show held every January and July in Burbank, California, Aren’t We Naughty was nominated as the StorErotica Retail Chain of the Year.

In the company of other retail chains from across North America, Aren’t We Naughty was nominated for its commitment to the customer through immaculate and beautiful store environments that focus on plenty of lighting, lots of colours and interesting graphics, well stocked shelves and incredibly knowledgeable and helpful staff.


“It is an honour to be mentioned with so many other great stores. It just goes to show that we’re doing something right!” says Steve Bannister, President of Aren’t We Naughty.

In 2014, Aren’t We Naughty officially re-launched its newest store location in Toronto at 100 The Queensway. The new location is Aren’t We Naughty’s most ambitious store to date and features hundreds of products in an open concept environment with designer shelving and a luxurious change room to make the customer feel more comfortable in its upscale shopping environment.

For more information about Aren’t We Naughty, please visit www.arentwenaughty.com. 

About Aren’t We Naughty
In 2013, Aren’t We Naughty celebrated 30 years of providing couples across Ontario and the world with high quality products which promote intimacy. Started as a little shop located in the small town of Brampton, Canada, it has since grown to 11 beautiful locations across the GTA. As one of the leading adult novelty stores of choice for couples and individuals, in 2012, Aren’t We Naughty was nominated for Retailer of the Year at the Xbiz Awards held in Santa Monica, California.

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Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Let's Have a Real Talk About Sex.

By: Stephanie


Article: 

Why Aren't We Talking to Our Partners About Sex?


I recently read this article that has left me with a burning question. (If you haven't read the article at the link above, please read that first). Why is it that speaking openly about our sexual likes and dislikes with our partners, whether it is our spouses or a one night stand, is so difficult?

"But do we talk to our partners candidly about sex, the real sex that we ourselves are having?"

Studies have shown, and I would have to agree that, communication is the bedrock to a happy, healthy and lasting relationship. I would consider myself a fairly open person sexually. I find myself at ease speaking about many sexual topics with my girlfriends but many are uncomfortable participating in the discussion.

Over the years I have learned what I respond to and what I don’t respond to in the bedroom. It’s taken me years to figure it out so how could I expect my partner to intuitively know these things. Couples who talk about sex get better at it – and that’s a fact!

Nobody is a mind reader so why are people so apprehensive to share with their partners what they like or don’t like?

Below are a few books that may help. It's best for you both to read this at the same time. It will get you talking and hopefully in the mood at the same time. The most important thing to remember is that sex is supposed to be fun!

8 Erotic Nights

8 Erotic Nights has some great suggestions for spicing up your relationship ranging from building and deepening your love to more intimate physical ways to show your affection. Available here.


Love On The Menu

Love On The Menu shows your fun and sexy ways to share the intimacy of cooking as a couple. Each recipe offers different ways to tease and please while making a delicious meal. Available here.

Sex: How To Do Everything

Everyone is different, so this book entitled Sex: How To Do Everything is a great buy for a general knowledge of almost anything to do with sex. Available here.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Getting bored in the bedroom? Spice it up with these sexy suggestions!

By: Stephanie


Couples sometimes tend to get bored in their relationship when bedroom play becomes predictable. This, I find, leaves most partners feeling like they're lacking something important in their relationship. Don't worry though, assuming the issue is just bedroom boredom, there are plenty of ways to add a little fire to the mood.

Having said that, add a little excitement to your routinely balanced sex lives with these 5 ideas:

Blindfolds


You can magnify your sexual arousal and tension by wearing blindfolds during sex. It is said that when one of your senses is inactive or blocked, your other senses compensate and often increase making for an amazing sexual experience. If you're timid in the sack, a blindfolded partner may help you feel more comfortable exploring your sexual desires. One of the best blindfolds we carry is the Love Blind by Liberator. It has a special padded nose bridge that softly contours the curves of the face to prevent any light from getting in. This is the cream of the crop of blindfolds, and we all absolutely love it.

Massage Candles:


Whether you are a beginner and you are looking to add a few punches to your foreplay, or you are experienced and want to turn the heat up, or you simply enjoy the invigorating oils for your skin, massage candles can help you experience foreplay like never before. Some of our best-selling massage candles come from Kama Sutra. Kama Sutra leads the industry with an award-winning line of amazing smelling massage accessories. Pictured left is the Coconut & Pineapple scent, but is also currently offered in 5 other scents. View the entire Kama Sutra line here.

Sex Toys:


Most couples are afraid to introduce sex toys into the bedroom. This is something that the two of you should explore together and it will definitely bring some diversity to your bedroom play.


One of our best selling toys lately has been the Womanizer. Unique in that it works unlike anything we've ever seen before, this product boasts an amazing track record of producing orgasms. In test studies, 49 out of 50 women achieved orgasm using the Womanizer. The full selection can be seen here, and it is even offered in a Swarovski version for women with a high taste in fashion.

In truth there is almost an endless array of different toys you can use with your partner; dildos, vibrators, full size dolls, strap-ons, restraints, collars, whips, anal beads, butt plugs, and the list goes on!

Lingerie:


The urge to impress your partner commonly wears off after time, which is one of the reasons sexual desires and fantasies fade in long-term relationships.

Breathe some fresh air into your sex life by tossing aside those sweats in the bedroom.

If lingerie isn't your thing, try a pair of stilettos or red-hot lipstick, instead. It's almost like a sexual equivalent to a business suit; it gets you into the right mindset.

Pornography:


Pornography can be a great sex toy when it is shared with two people. Watching together can start hot conversations, or just laughter at the ridiculousness of it all.

Indulging together in watching pornography can help you learn more about your partner’s sexual fantasies, and a great lover always aims to please.

When both partners are equally open sexually and emotionally, pornography can be an exciting and wonderful version of, or an addition to, foreplay.