Thursday, May 20, 2010

Getting Down with Anal Sex, Part 1

We had a lot of questions on the Aren't We Naughty topic board pertaining to anal sex: how to talk a woman into it, how to get started for anal virgins, best lubricants for anal, best anal toys for men and women, do men like anal stimulation and the list goes on.

I'm very happy to say this is one of my favorite things to talk about, primarily because its still taboo for some people and second because it can be so much fun and people just don't know it yet. Anal sex isn't just for gay men (a surprising fact, a lot of them don't like it), it isn't just for the woman in the relationship (there is a lot of porn now with women wearing strap-ons pleasing men) and for the guys who do like anal pleasure, it doesn't mean your gay...seriously, who comes up with some of these stereotypes?

This is going to be a mini-series blog as there is a lot of information I want to get out, and as any of my readers know I do my research and pass it all to you. I have decided to do this in an old-school textbook style, complete with index:
Section 1: Anal Anatomy
Section 2: Anal Hygiene and Safety
Section 3: Talking to Your Partner
Section 4: Foreplay/Outer-play and Lubricants
Section 5: Anal Intercourse
Section 6: Anal Toys
Section 7: Anal: You Either Like It or Don't Like It
Section 8: Miscellaneous Whackers

I do want to answer one of the questions before I start into the mini series: How do you talk a woman into anal sex? You don't. Simply that. If you ask and they say no, you may ask why, but don't push it. You should never, ever try to talk anyone into anything they do not want to do. It is a violation of their trust in you as their partner and it is disrespectful. Jasmine at AskMen.com says it best: “Do not ever put your penis into a woman’s body without her express permission. Do not treat her body like a scoring device. She is not an object ...and if she is kind enough to share her beautiful butt with you, treat it with respect and be happy you were allowed close enough to breathe her in at all.”

Section 1: Anal Anatomy
Between the female vagina and the male scrotum is the perineum and beyond that lies the anus. The anus looks puckered and has thousands of nerve endings which makes it ultra sensitive and fun to stimulate. Next is the External Sphincter, this is a voluntary muscle, which means you can control it (just think of the last time you had to hold in a good poo, if you couldn't control those muscles...well, game over). Next is the Internal Sphincter, which is an involuntary muscle, which you cannot control. This is the important to discuss because if you try to proceed with anal sex and the person receiving is not ready or nervous the sphincters will not open and it will be painful for both of you.

Next is the anal canal, which is only 1-1.5 inches long, and then the rectum, which is about 8 inches long. During anal activities, this is where any fingers, toys or penis's will go. Anything past this is going into the colon and not recommended whatsoever. The rectum contains “little shelves in it called traverse folds. These folds help keep stool in place until you're ready to go to the bathroom. I'll discuss more about this in the next section...which is next!

Section 2: Anal Hygiene and Safety
I started talking about the rectums traverse folds...they keep the poo in place until you go to the bathroom, and its a primary area that fingers, toys and/or a penis will touch if inserted. So before you begin any anal play it is really important to clean yourself up, take a good shower and use an anal douche. This will ensure that any left over residue left in those little folds will be flushed out. It is always important to note that anything that goes into the bum should always be clean and after it has been used there should always be cleaned as soon as possible.

The anus is a very sensitive area...and I'm not just talking about the nerve endings. The skin there is very thin and easily torn if you are not careful. If you feel any pain whatsoever during any part of your anal play STOP what you are doing and check yourself out. There is a chance of an anal fissure, which is a small tear which can become infected. That would be important to go to the doctor.

After anal play the feeling of having to go the bathroom may be there...just go. It is important to clean up any residue from lubricant, other liquids and possible poo (it could happen). If you do decide to have anal intercourse, the penis should be covered in a condom, if not, he should clean his penis well to make sure no residual bacteria is left.

Always remember: Vagina to Anus NEVER Anus to Vagina. If you have anal play, clean up then you can go back to vaginal play.

I will continue on with this mini-series shortly.

Cherry On!

Sources:
AskMen.com
About.com

Pictures:
Rectum
Anal Canal

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