Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Men vs. Sex Toys

I am so excited to write this blog. I had a best friend that explained sex toys to me when I was 20 and she did tell me that some men have issues with sex toys, "they feel its competition." I just giggled and we went back to exploring her toy box.

Once my husband and I became intimate, he explained that sometimes he was intimidated by my toys, only because he knew he couldn't do what they do. I decided the best thing to do was explain what I liked about each particular product I owned and let him know in no way was a toy ever going to replace him.

I have since seen tons of articles talking about this very thing. Fascinating! Yes, men honestly think that they have to provide all of our orgasms and we shouldn't need toys...which is totally wrong. Women have to learn their own bodies and know what they like in order to tell you, men out there, where to touch us. Having sex with a partner is an exploration of sensations and communication.



So...how do we get those afraid of the sex toys to give them a try? Glad you asked! According to Cosmo, December 2009 issue, “a recent study found that most men are willing to try out these buzzy toys.” That gives us some hope at least.

I have to take a pause, I just realized I'm writing to the women more than the men. Here's what I have to say to the men reading this before I tell your women how to get you to at least try a toy: If she is willing to ask, that mean she respects you to not just pull it out, that she wants to share part of herself with you and she wants to add some spice to make you happy. Also, to speak to your manly side, you want to make her happy, right, so give it a try.

Here's some advice from Ask Men: “Now before you start tripping out, no, you won't be replaced by a mechanical penis. Ask any woman with a pulse, and she'll say that nothing compares to the loving (or aggressive) touch of a man. Now unless your woman has a hidden switch she pushes that can turn her room into a sado-masochist's haven, sex toys may be the perfect add-on to a great sexual relationship.”

Now that I have that out of my system, ladies, here is how to get your man in sync with sex toys. Find a toy that is non-phallic looking and small, this will keep those fears of being replaced at bay. The bullet is a small vibrator that brings a powerful kick...and it can be used by both of you. On the low setting, rub it on him with his clothes on. As this is a massager, try using it in normal places, like the back and neck, then try it on the thighs and hips...you should have his attention by then.

Now some nakedness is required. Start using the vibe around his nipples in between licking so he can experience the sensations...then have him use it on you in the same manner. Take turns trying it all over each others bodies. As he gets used to not only having it used on him, he'll see the reaction you give as its being used on you. Try a couple of exploration sessions so you can teach him where you like it and you can find where he likes it.

Next is slowly incorporating it into foreplay, then oral and then finally intercourse. Most women need clitoral stimulation along with intercourse to have a great orgasm. Having used this little wonder for so long it will become normal to him for you both to be using it. Now would be the time to start with other toys, larger vibes, dildos and the like. Again, start slowly and let him become comfortable with the toy.

Finally, there are many sex toys for him. Now that he sees what kind of joy and pleasure you get from your toys, he may want to have some of his own. Take a look at the sex toys for beginners blog to get an idea what to get for him. Remember, communication is the most important part of your play.

Cherry On!

Sources:
Cosmopolitan, December 2009: Sexy Ways to Use a Vibrator with Him by Bethany Heitman
Em and Lo's Wise Guys
Ask Men, Enhance Your Love Life with Sex Toys
MSNBC, Boys Don't Be Jealous of Her Toys – Play Along!

3 comments:

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