Friday, July 22, 2016

BDSM: What it means to wear a Collar

In any BDSM relationship, there are two roles: the Dominant and the submissive. While these roles often go by other names, ultimately, Dom and sub is what it comes down to. So, with that said, what does it mean to be collared or to collar someone? Collars are worn by the submissive, and they are given by the Dom. In the BDSM community, wearing a collar, especially to a kink/fetish event, is considered a serious thing.

Collars are used in two ways; the first is a way of training their sub. Putting a collar on a sub indicates to them that they are under the Dom’s control. Like how a dog wears a leash and collar placed on it by it’s master establishing ownership and control, a Dom places a collar on their sub. This physical reminder keeps the sub from forgetting mid-scene that they are playing a role and that their obedience is expected. Check out this collar that comes with a leash that is perfect for those who want to “train” their submissive.

The second way a collar is used is when out at fetish and kink events. Coming to the event wearing a collar indicates that the wearer is “owned” by a Dom at the party. Folks in the BDSM community are respectful of each other’s property and do not engage with subs wearing collars without first asking the Dom for permission to interact with or touch their “property”. A collared submissive is “off-limits” to all others, and should be treated with respect all times.

If you’d like to start including a collar in your BDSM play, here are a few pointers to keep in mind:

· The collar should be placed on the submissive by the Dom

· The submissive should treat the collar with respect, and be sure not to break character while the collar is on (aside from using safe words when necessary)

· The collar should never be too tight, be sure that there is enough space to slip in two fingers between the collar and the wearer’s neck.

· A collar should be removed by the Dom at the end of play, this is part of the role play, a sub may not remove their own collar.

Many kinksters believe that collars need to be earned and only given to a sub once they have demonstrated consistent obedience. What you choose to do in your own bedroom is up to you. As long as all kinky play is safe, sane, and consensual, you can write your own rules. The main thing is to treat the collar as a treasure; a collar symbolizes your bond and devotion to your Dom, or your power and ownership over your sub.

Thanks for reading! Have some fun with role playing this weekend, just be sure to always discuss consent and safe words before trying anything BDSM related with your partner.

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