Thursday, August 25, 2016

Will Masturbation Ruin Sex With A Partner?

This blog was prepared by Lips'n'Licks in her own personal capacity. The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own.

On the Aren’t We Naughty online store we have a chat feature in which our customers as well as regular, everyday people get to openly ask their burning questions about love and sex in the new-age, private way. I answer questions from “Is this product in stock at the Brampton location?” to “What consists of a BDSM starter pack?” I’ve been able to answer them with ease, until I received this one: ‘Will becoming good at masturbation ruin sex with my partner?” - I was stumped.

I felt so bad making this potential customer wait for an answer but I had to take some time to think because I wanted to give them my best response. I deliberated - it had been a while since I had engaged in sexual intercourse so I felt no matter what I said I’d be answering the question with some inadequacy and a hint of ignorance. I didn’t want that - so, of course, I made it personal.



Confession time - for personal reasons, it’s been months since I’ve shared myself with a partner. And in those months I’ve depended on masturbation to fulfil my sexual needs. In that time I’ve become very good at pleasing myself, and have experienced orgasms that far surpass anything I’ve experienced with a human sexual partner because I know what I want and at exactly what points I want it. With a partner I am forced to work with their rhythms and preferences, which can be a negative or a positive depending on who I am engaging in intercourse with. Digging a little deeper, I realised that even though I am experiencing the ultimate release as a result of masturbation, there are areas that are lacking without a physical partner: intimacy; another human presence; a mutual understanding for each others needs; and simply, a connection.

Becoming a master-bator (see what I did there?) can have a negative effect on sex with a partner if all you are interested in is an orgasm. But intercourse begs so much from you physically, mentally and emotionally. Once you find the right partner, giving and receiving; working in response; submission and domination won’t feel so hard. It’ll feel - right, and you may just wonder how you could have ever done anything like that alone.

But until then. I’ll be in my room mastering my self-pleasure.

Lips'n'Licks

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